None But Jesus

"To forgive is to set a captive free and then realize that you were the captive." -Neil T. Anderson

Have you felt you were tied down, not able to move. You are trapped no where to go. You feel like you can't trust anyone. The weight and pressure is making you stressed because all you want is to be free. What is freedom? Freedom is no chains, bondage anything a burden in your life.Where the spirit of the LORD there is freedom. Sometimes in life we want to give up. There is an emptiness in our hearts and we can't seem to fill it. But when we are weary and feels like the walls are coming in, come to Jesus. Once you realize you want to be free and recognize the pain. The process of healing is talking about it even if it hurts. In time, forgiveness will come.The hardest part about healing, is going back and reliving the pain. But uprooting the hurt and emotions it is a process. If someone in our life has had such a negative effect, it has emotional damaged us the next part is forgiveness. Forgiveness is scary (for me), just that for because that means you need to forgive that person who has had a emotional damaged effect on you. Inside of you there may be bitterness, anger and unspoken emotions. But just like Jesus forgave you, we need to forgive. Emotional healing is process it doesn't happen over night. For me God has been speaking a lot about forgiveness. How I need to forgive stop living in the past. In time everything will be ok. Everything is in the hands of God. I am not going to worry about this issue, because I know God is working in with this. When it comes to emotional healing it is a special kind of healing that only the holy spirit can do.

This week has so far been really busy with doctors appointments. I had two good reports, the other one was discouraging. I was told before I go back to school I needed another treatment. I started to cry because I really don't like this one because it got me sick last time on thanksgiving. I am trying not to worry about it because I know that I am not alone. I need to keep moving forward, asking for strength from God.

Let Go allow God to Heal.

So many unspoken words, I can feel the tension, anger that has build up.

Where is the love a parent is supposed to show?

How I feel unloved, betrayed, smashed down.

How can these unspoken words be spoken?

How can love be expressed towards someone is cold hearted?

How can love be expressed in anger?

The hurt, frustration and anger towards them, how can it be let go?

How can all of this be forgotten?

Should I hide and cry?

Or should I allow God to come and break these walls of hurt?

Where does all of this lead to; forgiveness.

What is LOVE?

Love is going out of your way for that person. It is patient, kind, not rude or prideful. Love is beautiful, I want to be loved and be shown I am loved. Basically that is everyones desire to be loved. What really is LOVE? When someone loves you they go out of there way to show you that they truly and deeply do love you. I am not talking about love what Jesus did, but the love in a relationship. Going another direction this word brings fear to me REJECTION. Someone pushes me away or leaves me my heart breaks. But that is life people will fail us. It hurts more when the people we love and care so deeply about reject us. Then do we feel love towards that person? NO. Of course there will be forgiveness down the road. Love is beautiful but what are we really willing to sacrifice in a relationship (sacrificial love). I mean love is powerful and those three words are very powerful. I love you is misused as to what I think, when people say it do they really mean it? How do they love me? What will they do show me LOVE?

Overall, the past is over and done with. This is a new chapter, I am letting go. God is healing me. God has shown me love. I need to keep clinging onto God to giving me that confidence in HIM not in myself. I am just CANDACE JOY ROJAS but in Christ, I am a NEW creation. Everyday He has new mercies for me. YES! I believe that God is healing me! MY life is made new. Some days I have hard times, BUT God is my strength and portion. He the one I will cling onto.

"Letting Go"

This semester has brought many challenges. They are good challenges that will help me grow. mature and learn more about myself. Within these challenges God has revealed a lot about me that needs to change. Forgiveness is scary especially when you have held onto hurt, anger, bitterness and confusion for 22 years. I mean for me it is hard to let go because I am comfortable with it, but if I want to change and surrender it to God I need to let go. "Letting Go", those two words scare me, because when I let go there is a an outcome in that outcome its called change. Change will happen, even though I know this change will be good, I am afraid because I have been waiting for this change basically all my life.

I thank God for the people who He has put in my life to help me heal. These two people are amazing men of God. But one person I will like to write about He is my best friend. He believed in me when I didn't believe in myself. He wants to see me healed; healed from sickness and hurt. God has blessed me with him and I thank God for him. I pray that we will grow more and more in God, also establish a more solid foundation in Christ.

Besides, this God is awesome. I believe God has a timing for everything. Right know it is God's timing for me to be healed little by little. In my moments of weakness you give me GRACE to do your will. I believe there is no one else for me NONE but Jesus!

Matthew 24?

Are Christians in America too comfortable with Christianity? What is being a Christian mean to you? Is Christianity just a religion or a label? Is the spirit of God, dead in America? Why do people get healed from sickness, restored from hurt and also if someone lost a limb or anything why do they get healed right away in foreign country?? Where is the spirit of God in America? Its time to get more real, cry out for the spirit of God, to come down from heaven like never before. I believe that one day Christianity is going to be rare in America. One day there will be persecution and death, how far will God's people go to see the spirit of God? I mean God is still active and powerful but America is dying and we as Christians need to take a stand, get ready for the end times. We think it is hard now, ha!, this is nothing compared to what is going to happen in the future. The end times are here! We as Christians need to be more preprepared, sometimes we can become too comfortable with our faith. Are we willing to take up our cross daily? Are we willing to pray for our nation? Are we willing to fight the good fight of faith? Its time to wake up and be more prepared for the battle is going to get harder and harder. I am not saying I am perfect, I am far from being perfect. But I feel in my spirit that Christians need to wake up, realize we are living in the end times. Time to be stronger, fight, listen and obedient to the voice of God. Be ready God is coming back!

Waiting on the LORD!

Classes just started this week and once again my life did an unexpected surprise. In life there are always going to be something that you want you right then and there but it doesnt seem to work out. I mean realtionships are alway going to be hard and have some stress. But sometimes realtionships are not something what they seem to be. I am going to admit I was in enaged this past year but that relationship was not good for me, the result ened in sickness and many other reasons. I dont want to be control I am more then able to make my own decsions. Now a few months later I meet someone who I like and I wanted to start a relationship, BUT the main question what I asked myself is am I ready for a healthy relationship? A relationship about God, being patient in love, trust and open communication. I put up a wall when I trust people, I have been hurt many times in relationships and trusting people for me takes time. Its not something that will happen over night. I just need someone who is understanding, patient, and willing to work with me. I am not here to complain about my life but all I want is to be in a healthy relatonship. I am not ready for a relationship as badly as I want one I need time to let myself grow in the LORD, let God mold and shape more into the woman of God. As I was thinking these past few days is I lost a friend over a relationship. I mean its hard and I wish I can go back and change things but once again God is teaching me more about relationships. It hurts to let go of the one person who you love and care about deeply. I want to learn to love and I want to be loved. Overall it comes down to waiting on the lord for that specfic person, not dwelling on that person but waiting on God. I am in love with someone who doesnt exsist yet. If that makes sense to anyone. Yes, I am in love with someone who doesnt exsist.

Worship

As I am relaxing listening to one of my favorite Hillsong United song "Where your love lasts forever" this thought came to me what is worship? I know many people may have asked this question at church or wherever, but really what is worship? We can say worship is a life style, yes it is but does it go deeper then that? I think it does, worship is surrenderer to God, letting God know here I am ready for you to consume me with your holy fire. As we live our lives as Christians I think it is important to worship God daily. I do not mean to stop what your doing and bow down but to simply worship God but whispering a prayer thanking, praising and recognize His goodness. I have to be honest, I am not perfect I do not do that very often. I would love to stop whatever I am doing a whisper a simple prayer to the one I love. I need to pray that God help me to discipline myself to get that started. But overall, worshiping God is very beautiful. In that moment letting go of everything what has happened in a day and just saying God here I am take me. God let me lift my hands to you and focus on me and you. Finding freedom in Christ, I look forward to worshiping God I can't really describe it, its like a moment of peace, freedom, joy and its overwhelming in a good way. I love the presence of God, I love Him, I long to be in His presence often.